Fear of Intimacy – Experiencing a Lifetime of Freedom
Not one of us wants to suffer pain due to someone else. A break-up of a friendship, a romantic relationship or particularly a marriage can be terribly unpleasant and leave a long-lasting result on our lives. There may be emotional scars and even real physical discomfort. Occasionally such agonizing experiences could lead to what’s labeled physiologically as “fear of intimacy”, which takes the apprehension of hurt to a higher level.
Fear of Intimacy
The fear of intimacy is the fear of being hurt emotionally by permitting yourself to be exposed in a relationship. Occasionally the fear of intimacy is experienced emotionally as well as physically. The individual with fear of intimacy is usually scared of emotional closeness. This fear can manifest itself in numerous ways such as fearing rejection, desertion, betrayal or vulnerability. It may also be felt as a dread of becoming engulfed or entrapped by another.
How Does It Develop?
How does fear of intimacy develop? Some believe it may be the result of discomfort from prior relations. Having a partner who is abusive or unfaithful certainly causes deep heartache and can cause even deeper physiological scars. The fear of intimacy is a self-protection mechanism to guard against being hurt and crushed emotionally once-again.
Many think fear of intimacy develops in childhood as a protecting behaviour. Someone had a parent who didn’t express love, was violent, or abandoned the family leaving the child feeling denied and unloved. When something bad happens to us we tend to arrange our lives to protect against facing similar hurtful experiences. Naturally, this self-protection through shutting others out, only leads to more heartache in the form of isolation. The choice is to be open to love, intimacy, and vulnerability. Yet, every fiber of your body and mind might be screaming, “No! I was hurt before by being this open. Am I Able To be guaranteed that if I love intimately I will not be hurt again?”
The Other Partner
Fear of intimacy is typically looked at thru the eyes of the one who has the emotional hurdle but it can also be devastating to the other partner. Imagine living alongside a spouse who fears being intimate and sabotages your each effort made to have an ordinary relationship due to be afraid of. You are the one who is continually confounded and made to appear like the one with the emotional problem. The person attempting to protect themselves will most likely use anything at their disposal to guard their own weakness even to the point of being devious. They may frequently place the blame on you, to protect themselves.
Living like this is lonely and bewildering. In some cases the fear of intimacy may manifest itself emotionally, but not physically. The relationship could have an active sex life but something is significantly missing. The fear of emotional intimacy destroys a good relationship. Yes there’s physical pleasure, but it falls far short of satisfying your emotional wishes. Your partner might be free to have physical intimacy but they might be intensely guarding their heart at every step.
Intimacy should create a place of trust, where we are accepted, loved, and respected. A healthy relationship should really provide a place where you can feel the freedom to share your inner thoughts, issues, and inabilities and know that you are going to still be accepted. In a good relationship, neither side is degraded and nobody will leave the other or lead them to feel deserted. It should be such a beautiful place, a peaceful place, a place to grow with each other and to discover the wonderments of this world. It should additionally be a place where each partner is growing closer to God. Yet, it’s not.
Is There An Answer?
I encourage you to click on the gift, “God’s Answer?” an instantly downloadable 29 page PDF file which will exhibit how to live life thru a power that will radically transform your life. You will find out how to live a life of intimacy you have not imagined.
How many years have you wrestled with a fear of intimacy or journeyed with a partner who fears intimacy? You aren’t here by accident. It is time to give your fears to Him and let Him lead you to the life of intimacy you have dreamed. I encourage you to permit your heart to receive “God’s Answer?” You see, it is far more about your heart and your intimacy with Him.
How to Live Through A Power Which Will Transform Your Life!
Burton Rager author of “Living Life Set Free” and “God’s Answer?” Receive your complimentary copy of “God’s Answer?”To watch a video to discover more about: Fear of Intimacy