Caregiver Stress – Getting Help

Being the primary caregiver for an elderly parent can bring untold physical and emotional stress. You can become ill from the combination of mental strain and physical tasks that are never ending. In order to help others, you must first help yourself. Reconciling your goals with realistic expectations can help greatly to minimize that stress. Sometimes, just taking pen to paper and listing all that must be done objectifies the problem, and is a good start. Making it a comprehensive list, including even minimal tasks helps to objectify the problem.

Now that you have that list, make another list of all the available resources . You’ll also need to about alternative care that is available in your area – nursing home care, respite care, assisted living facilities, board and care facilities, home health care, hospice, etc. If these measures are not necessary or appropriate, and you are able to care for your loved one at home, make a list of those who can help: members of the household, relatives, church members and others. Some ideas of tasks that may be delegated are meal preparation, running errands, shopping for personal needs, household repairs, driving to appointments, yard work, bill paying, filing medical insurance claims, and relief care giving. Enlisting someone else in reading a newspaper or a book to the loved one, or perhaps taking them for a walk is also of great value in relieving the caregiver of a few of their duties.

Talk to those other resource people and find out what they are willing to do to help. Not everyone is as close to the situation as you are, and they might be uncertain of how they can help you with providing the assistance that is so badly needed. Find out what things they would enjoy doing. Share with them some of the item on the list of things that need to be done, so they will have some ideas of where they might be able to assist.

Next, is to match up the items to be done with those who have offered to help. As much as possible, consider the volunteer’s preferences, abilities and availability in making these choices. Delegation is key to your success in managing this process. In many cases, help with just one task is not enough to provide the needed relief, but the important thing is that it’s a start. In some ways, it may seem like you are farming out the job you most want to do yourself. Try to release your need for control and save your energy for bigger things.

In reality, you are running the entire process. You are in the best position to know the person’s needs. The most important job of all is managing the process and coordinating the jobs. Showing your appreciation is also key to their continued involvement. Those who are helping will feel rewarded for their work when you thank them for their valuable contribution.

Take some time for yourself as soon as some help is in place. Joining a support group of caregivers will allow you to share your thoughts with others who will truly understand your situation. You may only get a free hour or two, but be sure to make the most of it. You might take a walk in fresh air, get a haircut, visit your doctor or dentist, or simply take a nap. You’ll be a better caregiver and feel better about yourself if you can manage the stress effectively.

Knowing when it’s time to consider assisted living is important in allowing you to provide the best possible care for your loved one. There are many beautiful assisted living facilities in Orange County, California that would be pleased to give you a free tour and tell you about the services they can provide.