We are all shy at some times and in some places. That’s natural. But when shyness and social anxiety turn into our natural state then it’s high time that we did something to turn our attitude around, otherwise we’re missing out on life, which isn’t the best plan for our limited time on the planet.Start off in easy situations.A party full of hundreds of people isn’t necessarily the best place to try to shake off your shyness. Although, that said, since most people there won’t know you, it could equally be argued that it is a good training ground. So if you’ve got enough courage, leap in and don’t worry about the consequences – partly because unless you make a complete fool of yourself, it’s unlikely there will be any consequences.
Ask yourself why you are shy. Be honest with yourself. What are your real fears? What do you think people see when they talk with you? Yes, this will take effort on your part by reading books on the subject or listening to motivational tapes, but it works!
Learn how to use daily affirmations and positive mind influence. Again, this takes work but the power to change your shyness to confidence can come simply from saying things to yourself every day like “I like myself!” or “I am a winner!”This may sound silly but take time out alone to roleplay situations that you get really nervous about. Pretend that you are talking to that guy or girl that makes you shy. Be that outgoing person that you wish to be. This roleplaying will send messages to your sub-consciousness and help your inner-self change.
Dress to impress even if nobody is looking. Iron those clothes! Keep that hair neat! In other words, always look your best. This does amazing things to help you feel better about yourself and overcome shyness.Start projects in life that make you feel good. Start a personal project, totally clean up your house clutter and your car. Work on a new hobby. How can these things help you with overcoming shyness? Simple by working on things that make you feel good produces a natural aphrodisiac that turns you on and which indirectly turns on people around you.
Reprogram your mental definition of shyness. This goes along the same lines as using daily affirmations or by reading self help books. By changing your perception of shyness instead of having a negative attachment to the word, you will then help re-create your outlook on it.Learn to take risks. How many times did you just want to go up to someone and tell them how beautiful they were, or how impressed they were. As a daily exercise do this: Each day of the week go up to a total stranger and say something nice. It could be something as innocent as complimenting a pretty girl on her hair or a guy with his shirt. Do not worry about the outcome, do not worry about what they say, just do it!
The initial conversation will be much easier since you’ll already have a topic of conversation that interests you both.If you do not have the confidence to approach someone new, then smile and try to be approachable. Most people are receptive to a smile and a friendly face.You could also consider taking someone that you are comfortable with along to lessen your anxiety. Shy people are extremely reluctant to take the risk of approaching new people.If you want to learn how to overcome shyness, you may have to make an effort to be outgoing initially, but soon your new habits will become natural and easy.
Sometimes it seems that the task of overcoming shyness is insurmountable. Every time you find yourself in a strange situation, you just instinctively want to disappear into a hole in the ground – not that there’s a convenient hole in the neighborhood of course. Check out these tips for overcoming shyness.
According to professionals in social psychology, being shy means that an individual experiences apprehension or feelings of discomfort and/or awkwardness when in the same area as others, or when approached by other people. These feelings are often enhanced when in social situations, unfamiliar locations or around people who are unfamiliar. While it is common for everyone to experience shyness at least once in their life to a small degree, many individuals experience it to such a high degree that it results in social anxiety and/or phobias related to social situations, events and experiences. In its most severe forms, individuals that experience shyness may find that it interferes with their personal and professional relationships and hinders them to one degree or another. While many refer to therapy and even anti-anxiety medications to overcome shyness, simply learning to communicate better has also been found to be an effective strategy in overcoming shyness. Not only is this strategy less expensive than therapy and medication, it is also much safer.
Choose one with a low score because that will be easier to overcome and will build your confidence when you come to tackle one of the scarier situations.Then make a determined attempt to overcome your shyness in that one, relatively inconsequential, situation.Keep at it – you may not succeed at the first attempt but keep going until that situation has dropped at least one point on the scale.Learn to laugh more,Laughter is an excellent defence mechanism.It diffuses lots of otherwise awkward situations.If you find it hard to laugh, at least raise a smile. This will change the way that other people react to you and you’ll be pleasantly surprised when those situations where you were previously shy and reserved turn themselves around almost automatically, just because you’ve made the effort to laugh or smile.
Speak more often,Chances are that if you’re shy you also don’t speak much to other people.Start to change your habits so that instead of being almost mute, you start to make yourself heard.It may be that the people around you are actually surprised when you do this. They may even comment on you speaking. That’s not unusual when you begin to come out of your shell. Do your best not to turn a bright shade of red when this happens.You’re not expected to instantly come up with some kind of witty banter in this situation but at least uttering a few words back to the person who’s commented on you speaking will help you escape from your natural instinct of imitating a deer caught in headlights.Let your hair down occasionally,Allow yourself some “you” time!There are times when you don’t actually have to be on your guard.The more you can spot these opportunities to allow yourself not to be as shy as you used to be, the better.Play a game with yourself and aim to find at least one of these opportunities to let your hair down every day. I promise you that they are there in plentitude, you just have to be aware that they are waiting for you to take advantage of them.