The Secret between Self-Esteem and Success

Success can mean many things to many different people. It could mean having a happy home, and being a loving, nurturing mother. It could be travelling the world as a missionary with not a penny to your name. Or it could mean being an executive tycoon with skyscraper offices, a household of help, and a castle in the hills of Ireland.

No matter what success means to you, getting where you want to go is inherent upon your level of self-esteem. In fact, self-esteem determines whether or not you will enjoy success. Self-esteem is the catalyst for action, including making decisions. It’s your opinion of yourself and your opinion of how you fit into the world, as well as how you believe other people see you. If you have diminished self-esteem in one or more areas of your life, it means you will also have diminished confidence in those areas.

Self-confidence is built on actions that are driven by the beliefs you have about your abilities, or your self-esteem. If your self-esteem does not believe you are capable of doing an action, you will not take that action. If you do not take the action, you cannot build your confidence muscle. And confidence is built over time, taking little steps, then bigger steps, until you feel totally confident in meeting the expectations of a role or an activity.

Let’s say you dream of being a stay-at-home mom and raising three children. You want to guide them, nurture them, teach them and love them. But let’s imagine that you were an only child and never really had any up-close contact with babies or toddlers.

Pretend you get invited to a friend’s party to celebrate her two-year-old’s birthday. You arrive and there are kids everywhere. Someone asks you to hold her baby, and the baby immediately screams her head off. You try to quiet her, but it’s no use and the mother comes back and snatches the baby out of your arms as if you might have pinched it or something. Then you try to help serve the cake at the table with all the children and one little boy spits his juice at you. “I don’t like you,” he snarls.

Now, a person experienced with children would know that the baby just flipped out because she didn’t know you…you didn’t smell right and she wanted her mommy! The little boy, let’s just say he spits on everyone and you are no exception. But you don’t have experience. So how do you think your self-esteem might be affected? You might leave that party devastated, believing now that all children hate you. You’d likely go over and over it in your mind. After a while you’d be convinced that you are terrible with children. How can you possibly go through with your wedding to the man who wants kids tomorrow? You’ll be a total failure.

No matter what the situation, you can overcome low self-esteem by silencing the NEGATIVE self-talk and seeking the truth.

In this scenario, ask: 1. Are you hated by all children? No. You’ve had two brief experiences that could easily be explained. 2. Will you be a terrible mother? There is absolutely no correlation between your experience and your abilities to parent. 3. How do you change the low self-esteem that has now gotten a grip on your psyche? Positive self-talk that is based in reality. a. Thought: I want to have a family and be a great mom. b. Action: Ask your friends with children if you can come and hang out. Ask them questions. Approach the children like you’d approach a dog you don’t know…slowly and quietly. Or, let them come to you. Bring a little toy and just sit on the floor playing with it. No child can resist joining you. Build confidence in little steps. c. Learn: Having a way with children is often about patience and creativity…and your ability to re-direct them to positive activities when they are going to negative ones. You just need to have positive experiences with people who can teach and guide you.

Negative self-talk is poison to self-esteem. The only antidote is positive self-talk and positive, reinforcing actions that disprove what the negative voice is saying.

According to recent studies, 87.9% of all people suffer from diminished self-esteem in one area of their life or another. You are not alone, and dips in self-esteem are not a bad thing to hide and cover; they are wonderful opportunities to grow and succeed.

Kathleen Aston is the authority on creating confident, courageous, successful women who strive to reach purpose-driven prosperity. Ms. Aston’s proprietary systems help women to build solid foundations of self and rapid-fire business growth, profits and success. Discover The #1 Secret to Stop Procrastination and Boost Profits! https://www.kathleenastonintl.com/getgoing/

Similar Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.