How to Forgive Yourself – Living a Life Set Free

How many times have you heard the statement “I’ll never be in a position to pardon myself for what I’ve done?” Perhaps you’re even guilty of making that statement yourself. Forgiveness can be a very difficult thing to supply another who has offended or hurt us, but forgiving ourselves seems to be even tougher. There appears to be a tendency to hold ourselves far more responsible than we hold others for the very same offense.

Why is that? 1 reason is pride. While that may appear to be a contradiction, it’s really not. Whenever we enforce a different set of rules, or enact a higher set of standards for ourselves over others, that’s pride. When we can find it inside our self to forgive others, though not ourselves, what we are in effect pronouncing is that we are less capable of making a poor decision than others. We are saying that we believe our self to be more discerning, sensible, more judicious and more careful than others, and we have no excuse for doing what we probably did and should not pardon ourselves. When God Himself, offers to excuse the sins of all who seek His forgiveness but we refuse to forgive ourselves, we are setting ourselves above others and that, is pride.

So how do you excuse one’s self? Easy, in the same way they might excuse someone else. The elements are the same.

First, one must search out the forgiveness of God for all sin ultimately is against Him. King David reminded us of that when he sought forgiveness for sleeping with a married lady. He then compounded the offense when he had her partner removed from the picture by ordering him to the front lines of battle where he knew he’d be killed. In Psalm 51:3&4, he cries out to God and announces, “For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against you and you only I have sinned and done what’s evil in your sight.”

God is prepared and waiting to pardon your sin and then, He promises to remember it no more.

I John 1:9 “If we confess our sin, He’s loyal and just to forgive us our sin and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

The following step is to remember that forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. In the same way you need to choose to forgive somebody, (not just try and feel happier about them or what they did) you need to opt to pardon yourself.

Next, it is vital to recollect that forgiveness does not necessarily mean excusing the action “for another person, or yourself. That’s what so dynamic about forgiveness. It’s choosing to forgive despite the incorrect or ghastly thing done to or by you. It also suggests not dwelling on it any more or bringing it up again in any farther conversation, either with others, or yourself.

When true forgiveness occurs, it involves taking pity on that person and spotting that they require grace as much as you do. Forgiving yourself means taking pity on yourself, as much as you would anyone else. Together with that, goes spotting and acknowledging your need for grace. Don’t be tough on yourself. You are a person with weakness and failings and a great capacity for making error. Accept responsibility for the wrong you’ve done, receive God’s forgiveness and then extend that hand of mercy to your-self.

If, your Heavenly Father in all His greatness and power readily extends forgiveness to you when you ask, who are you not to discover how to forgive yourself?

Burton Rager author of “Living Life Set Free” and “God’s Answer?” Click to learn more about Forgiving Yourself and receive a complimentary copy of “God’s Answer?” To warch a video go to How To Forgive Yourself