There is no doubt that one sure way to improve self-confidence is to model highly self-confident people. Self-confidence is all about believing in yourself, your own worth, your power and abilities, regardless of the situation you are in.A lot of people believe that self-confidence comes from the possession of high skill sets or knowledge. While being excellent in a particular area of expertise can give you a sense of high self-worth, it is not a necessarily a prerequisite for self-confidence.People who have high self-confidence have a strong sense of assurance and belief in themselves. They exude calmness, composure and self-awareness, and that is because, they have formed a set of habits that have become part of who they are and how they live their life.
Tactic One: Understand who you are. Do you truly understand yourself? The Grecian philosopher Socrates stated it best when he uttered the statement, “Know thyself.” If you don’t know yourself or understand yourself, how do you think someone else will be able to identify and relate to you. Have you ever asked a close acquaintance, “Tell me the truth; what do you think about me? What can I do to change for the better? What are my strengths and weaknesses? ” Being at peace with yourself is a manifestation of good self-esteem. You are the captain of your ship and only you can come to a conscious self-awareness state of who you truly are. You must be in tune and totally honest with yourself so that you can grasp a clear picture on what is going on inside of you.
Tactic Two: Do not let past failures keep you emotionally downtrodden. Nobody is perfect, but we must strive to be better individuals on a daily basis. If we make a conscious decision to let our past failures keep us in the dumps, we will continue to have negative experiences and behavioral patterns henceforth. Failure is as natural as life itself; dust it off and move right along.Tactic Three: Humor your flaws. Everyone has flaws. Do not let your flaws become intrusive barricades that hinder or bring halt to your life. When you can laugh at your flaws, you will start to blossom and grow. Laughter can mend a broken spirit. Humor will help you along the journey to improve your self-esteem.Tactic Four: Love Yourself! No, I am talking about being arrogant or egotistical. Self-love is when you realize you are of great purpose and great value. You can not truly love others unless you can first love yourself.
Baby steps are the key here. If you try to do too much too soon, you will inevitably let something slip, and guess who will be watching?Choose Positive Self Talk.The primary keyword here is CHOOSE. No matter how many successes we have or how many things we do well, we continually doubt ourselves and our abilities.It might have something to do with the fact that over 75% of what we think is negative, which is completely counterproductive. With these kinds of statistics, it’s no wonder we struggle to feel good about ourselves.One of the most important changes we can make in our life is choosing our self-talk.
We come into this world with total self-confidence/self-esteem. An infant has self-confidence/self-esteem that their cries will get them what they need–food, diaper change, cuddling, communication, soothing, etc. If the child’s needs are readily met and the child senses they are accepted unconditionally they flourish. If their basic needs for survival and emotional sustenance are only met sporadically or poorly their sense of self-confidence/self-esteem begins to deteriorate. If the child continues to experience deprivation they begin to view themselves as not being good enough to be cared for or cared about. Their birth-right to self-confidence/self-esteem has been compromised.
Focus On Your Strengths.Lack of self-confidence is a result of losing sight of our great qualities, and exaggerating our flaws instead.High self-confident people know their strength and focus on what they can do, rather than what they can’t.When you think you are not good at something, try to consciously focus on the qualities that you have that are important to carry out that task.For example, if you are doing public speaking and are not confident at delivering a speech, but you are a great researcher, writer and organiser… focus on these attributes instead, and know that you can be confident and proud of the content of that speech. Focusing on the great content will make the delivery of the speech less significant.
Be Courageous.Get out of your head and just do it.Low self-confident people tend to procrastinate and worry. They end up being hung up over negative outcomes and failures of the past, and they can’t seem to find the courage to move forward.Highly self-confident people have learned that in order to succeed, they can create the possibility of being courageous anytime they want… this way, even if they are afraid, they can choose to take action… in spite of fear!
You see COURAGE is not acting without fear; courage is acting in spite of fear.When you make it a habit of being courageous you will increase self-confidence, because you are more likely to give the things you want a go, and when you are more focused on the doing rather than the thinking and worrying, you’ve overcome half the battle.Act and Feel Important.High self-confidence people have a habit of thinking highly of themselves through the way they behave and the image they portray. They have high levels of energy.If we were to look at their behaviour, you will notice that self-confident people stand up for themselves and speak up when it is appropriate.The image of self-confidence is also portrayed by the physiology and body language, by way they look after their body and the way they dress.Do you see many self-confident people who walk around with slumped shoulders and are dressed badly?No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are, so make it a priority to look good and feel important.
Find someone who is already confident in the area of expertise you need and watch how they do it. Model as many of their behaviors, attitudes, values, and beliefs for the context you want to be confident in. How can you do this? Talk with them if you have access to them. If you don’t have access to them, get as much exposure to them as you can. This could be talking to people who know the person and/or buying their products if they have some.
Heartfelt gratitude is a much deeper feeling. It is a feeling of appreciation and connection with life itself, which when present, gratitude triggers positive feedback loops.This is the secret habit that high self-confidence people rely on to get access to this amazing positive mental attitude that they have.So, to improve self-confidence start the habit of being grateful.An exercise you can do everyday is to spend 5 minutes acknowledging the small things you like about yourself, things that make you feel self-confident and successful right now.You can write these down in a gratitude journal and review them weekly.
Another powerful thing to do is find an unsuspecting or unlikely target to unleash your gratitude upon. Gratitude often works best where you would least expect it to. Perhaps you can show appreciation or be grateful to a friend or family member, or you have seen a beautiful tree or flower that brightens your day, perhaps appreciate your favourite song, or a really good hug… you will be surprised how many things you will find that you can appreciate and be grateful for everyday.Focus On Contributing To Others.People with low self-confidence tend to focus too much time on their own problems and flaws, they undervalue what they are capable of, and spend too much time being critical of themselves.They get caught up in this kind of thinking and as a result feel low in self-confidence.High self-confident people focus on the needs of other people, they take the attention away from themselves and focus on how they can be of service and contribute to others.