Article about Phobia Of Commitment

Phobia of commitment derives from past painful experiences that are often rooted with traumatic emotional pain. People experiencing phobia to commitment often hurt themselves by shielding themselves in order to protect themselves. But by avoiding to feel the emotions of hurt, they also prevent themselves from feeling the love and acceptance of being committed. And they hurt others, sometimes not intentionally by making themselves distant and sabotaging what is good.

Phobia to commitment can be treated with the right attention. It is a psychological disorder that is often rooted with a deeper emotion. These individuals have experienced emotional pain, disappointment, and fear that have made them the way they are. The past experience could be rooted as deeply into early childhood. And because of the fear to commitment, they never engage in anything longterm.

The phobia of commitment often derives from a fear of becoming hurt and vulnerable. And ending things before things get any deeper is what they will often do. This disorder is most common amongst men than women.

The pain experienced in the past may be so great that the commitment phobic will never want to make his or herself vulnerable to that extent of hurt. This could be a childhood pain or past adulthood experiences. He or she will try to avoid this to all extents, and hurt or disappoint others. Shutting down to avoid the hurt will also shut the door to feeling joy, love, and all the other lovely things that can be gained in meaningful engagements.

Those that fear commitments are not likely to hold down a job for many years, avoid getting married, and basically not follow through with plans. They may date a person and seek out the thrill but quickly move onto the next person. This could be the next day, the next month, the next year, etc. If together for a long time, he or she will avoid and put off marriage for as long as possible or even leave the relationship to avoid any further commitment. In a job, the commitment phobe is unlikely to stay at one job for a long time and may even switch careers often.

Having unrealistic expectations is another common characteristic of commitment phobia. Wanting and expecting the fantasy job or significant other and being unable to achieve it can make a person go from one relationship to another. They are picky, view themselves as being perfect while the others around him do not meet their expectation. And they jump around and leave when they are not happy. Signs of this disorder are usually apparent. His or her plans are constantly changing. Dinner dates are cancelled at the last minute. And it is not because of being extremely busy. It may be the simple fact that he or she decides to do something else at the last minute.

Fear or intimacy causes them to avoid commitment. Instead, they seek instant gratification or thrills. They may be dating all the wrong people to avoid having to settle. This can be acted on with promiscuous behavior. This fear may derive from past experiences and being hurt. Or sometimes it is the fear of hurting or disappointing others. Wanting to avoid the burden and pain, he or she avoids commitment altogether.

Talk things out with a trusted loved one or a professional. The commitment of phobia is often times deeply rooted to past pain that needs to be examined. Understanding and accepting is the start to healing.

For further advice on controlling Phobia of Commitment, visit our website.