A Guide To Basic Body Language In Building Self-Confidence

For those who grapple with self-esteem and lack self confidence in professional or personal scenarios, it can be beneficial to understand and utilise components of unconscious body language and calmly, with no embarrassment, turn it to your benefit. When you are unclear about the way in which someone is responding to you, you will get a good comprehension of their demeanour by correctly deciphering their body language. Alternatively, in the event you try to convey a precise attribute or personality trait, then by employing your own body language it is possible to help to have an impact on how other individuals see you, preferably in a positive light – while not having to place quite to much emphasis on what you may say!

The following simple summary is designed to give a broad introduction to some of the more obvious elements of body language:

Eyes And Eyebrows – The position and movement of your eyebrows are some of the most noticed elements when you communicate with a person face-to-face. A classic example on body language that conveys an apprehensive is when you have your eyebrows converging in the middle, as with frowning. Even if you talk softly and slowly, the person whom you are interacting with may think that you are almost about to lose your temper.

Lips – Another part of the body which is usually interpreted for the likely mood of a person is the mouth area. A retracted lower lip which is practically bit by the upper teeth generally is a sign that the individual is holding back and watching for affirmation or action from the other individual. A retracted upper lip which is bit by the lower teeth typically suggests somebody that is holding back and retaining mixed responses, as with a reaction to the communication being conveyed by the other. These types of small movements of the lips have important significance to the individual seeing them and might be the basis either to continue or halt the interaction process.

Extremities – The arms and legs are considered responsible for a larger concept of body language, as these are more profound and have a heavier impact. Crossing the arms over the chest usually signifies doubt, mistrust, impatience, or closed-mindedness. Combined with the body resting on one leg and having the other stepped away and angled, the whole idea of this unwelcoming look is heightened. Examples on body language may be corrected with appropriate gestures by practicing and internalizing how you would probably feel if you were the one seeing those actions you are doing. Actions often speak louder than words, so it’s best to always be conscious of your gestures and movements.

Creating a “Steeple” with Your Hands – This can often be used in superior/subordinate interactions. It can display confidence as well as a ‘know-it-all’ mindset. There are two variations:

1. The elevated steeple – when the individual is conversing, expressing their viewpoint

2. The lowered steeple – when the person is listening

The steeples should be interpreted in conjunction with other signs. If they are preceded by positive body language, for example talking with palms open and leaning forward, then the steeple indicates a positive conclusion is likely. If it follows negative signs, for example legs crossed and arms folded, then the outcome is likely to be negative.

Palm gripping – Keeping your head up high, chin out and one palm grasping the opposite hand behind your back. That is a confidence/superiority position. You’ve got your stomach, heart and throat areas totally exposed that is an subconscious act of fearlessness. If you’re in stressful scenario assuming this posture will help calm you down and manage the situation.

Arms crossed – This is a negative or protective posture. Many people will assume this position when they disagree with the information they are hearing. Even when somebody is agreeing with you, if their arms are crossed they’re going to have a negative attitude towards you. Their negative attitude continues until they’ve uncrossed their arms, after they have done this you’ll have a better probability of bringing them around to your perspective.

Mirroring positions – You frequently see two individuals conversing, standing in a similar pose. This means that that they are in agreement with one another, that they like each other. If one uncrosses their arms, the other one will do precisely the same. If one stands with one foot frontward, the other one will assume the same stance. To create a connection with another person, replicate their poses, or maybe even their breathing – this tends to have the effect of relaxing them and offering them a non-verbal signal that you are both thinking along the same lines.

Body positioning

The easy way to tell whether the person you’re talking to is enjoying the conversation: the person is standing facing you with their body and feet pointing towards you and mirroring your positions.

The tell-tale signs that someone’s feeling uncomfortable or not enjoying the conversation: the person’s head is turned towards you and appears engaged in the conversation – smiling, nodding etc, but their body and feet are pointing away from you. If someone’s body is turned away from you it will be facing the place where they’d rather be. If they’re pointed towards another person or the exit then it’s time to terminate the conversation or do something else to attract their full attention.

If you find these very short tips to be useful it is suggested you perhaps consider body language in more fine detail and how it can be a useful tool to build self-confidence.

John Sproson works as a business coach and mentor to professional business people and in organisational teams. He writes extensively online and blogs on how to build self confidence at work and uses a solution focussed approach to create confident relationships.