Having A Relationship With A Partner Who Has ADD/ADHD Can Be Difficult, But Not Impossible

Being in a long-term, committed relationship with another person can be difficult. If one of the partners has adult ADHD, some may write off that relationship altogether. However, with lots of love, patience, understanding and appropriate ADD coaching , there is hope.

Whether this brain disorder is referred to as ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), ADD, or AD/HD, its sufferers appear:

Scattered and easily distracted

In a constant state of “all-at-onceness”

Disorganized and forgetful, which will often cause problems on the job

Oblivious to social cues, which can cause interpersonal problems

Statistically speaking 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Adding ADD to the mix requires extraordinary effort to help the relationship endure. Both the prospective partner and the one with ADD need to think in terms of their specific relationship and how it and they will be affected. One potential complication is that in the first flush of a new relationship, the ADD partner may zoom in on the loved one, to the seeming exclusion of anything or anyone else. This super attention, or hyperfocus, can be thrilling and flattering. One key question then is: how will the partner feel once this “hyperfocus honeymoon” is over?

Seeking out an ADD coach will be helpful. Specifically qualified in treating these attention management issues, the coach will guide both individuals and couples in examining potential problems with work, financial and social situations. The non-ADD partner will need to understand the challenges of ADD; be appreciative of, “Hey, let’s go spend the weekend in Maui” utterances and be open to living in an “interesting” relationship with someone who sees the world pretty much all at once, all the time.

Appropriately qualified life coaches can also help couples with ADHD treatment by helping them construct a toolkit to deal with day-to-day concerns such as a husband who is distracted by a video game while charged with childcare or a wife who forgets to pick up the dry cleaning.

ADHD treatment needs to go beyond standard couples counseling, since it is a very specific disorder that by its very nature involves other people. It is important to understand also that it is considered more of a life-damaging outpatient problem than anxiety and depression!

Just in case all this were not enough, children of a person with ADD have a higher chance of having the disorder themselves. This not only has implications for their future, but also will add another level of disorder and stress to the home.

There is hope for these relationships if the ADD partner acknowledges his or her problem and gets ADD help; if the other partner accepts the situation and loves the other anyway; and if open communications and coping strategies are employed as a daily habit.

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Author Stephen Daniels highly recommends Denise Gallagher an ADD coach in DC for her experience and expertise in coaching those who suffer with this disorder. She is committed to assisting people in achieving their goals, so they can live a more managed and organized life and feel better about themselves and their accomplishments in the process.